alright - i’ve gone and acquired this URL, of the largest collection of pirate documents on the interwebs!!
here you can look for lots of different, and authentic pirate documents. letters of marque, letters of reprisal, quotes, pirate licences and ads and pamphlets, among lots of other goodies!
and why has this website come about, here is the answer…
I was fascinated with the idea of a license to have a private warship (privateer) and started to research and collect copies of these documents. This web site is the result of that interest. True to form, I have researched, stolen, plagiarized and generally acted like a pirate to get all these documents. Everything in this website is pirated. Piratedocuments.com is now the largest collection of authentic Letters of Marque and Admiralty documents on the web because of that happy hour. And I«ÉŸve only posted about half of my collection. This has to be one of the most unique gifts going. Personalize an historic document.
yes, i like this man’s manner of thinking.
and we also have this magnificant ASCII art from the Pirate site:
| | |
)_) )_) )_)
)___) )___) )___) \
)____)____)_____) \
_____|____|____|_____\__
——–\ /———
^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^
Captain Conch
N 24.68553 W 81.37003
^^^^ ^^^
an interwebs worthy tribute to The Mighty Captain Conch (circa 1970).
here you will find the plentiful pirate letters:
Pirate Documents
feel free to comment and have a part in this celebration on piratery!
garrrr avast ye cap’n conroy, this be a mighty fine pirate filter ye have here but i already talks like a pirate because i arrrre a pirate garrrrr but alas i shall type in ye old message anyways and we be seein what happens. tis but a short message because i has there be much pillaging to do. garrrr remember pillage THEN burn.
and now i’ll see how this thing really works by typing normally, ok great bye
this filter kinda stinks, no offence captain, i dont want to walk the plank or anything.
is this even working conrad?
i think he is due for a mutinee! lets dump him on a deserted island boys! harharharharhar! i shall be your new captain!
Conrad, this does remind me of that time back in Tortuga, or was it Port-au-Prince, when you snuck up behind me and scared me so badly I y’arghed in my pant’s. Was a fine time though, sailing with you on the dread ship ButtFirst, ha ha ha, you never did forgive the shipwright for carving the wrong letter.
Sniffle, makes me miss him, but he did hang beautifully, yargh, that he did.
Anyhow, I’m off to clean the bilge pumps, by the way though, I think I done gone an lost my Gib Cap’n, whatever that is.
Ahoy me hearties! Never have ye been able to change ye nationality in so short a space of time as with Capn Mooget Buttthroats filtaaars. What a whale of a time ye all are havin! Aaaargh, the bounty of modern technology i swear by my tatoo! What next? An electronic parrot? Yo ho ho & a bottle o rum. Time to go walk the plank, scrub the deck & sharpen my hook. And did i mention polish my pegleg?
Ethel
matey’s!! this olde pirate filter is magnificent! there’ll be no one (like Josh) saying bad things about this filter! i’ll let ye all know that i don’t want a plank walking.. but me and that old sea dog Dark have been wanting another beautiful moonlight hangin’ - so ye best be watchin’ ye mouths! or me parrot will have ye tongue!
there will be no mutiny by this strange bilge rat who goes by the name of roflingun. i don’t know what sort of pirate he is, but he sure stinks to me!
now continue in ye pirate speak revilries!
I have been directed to this here site by certain marks tatooed on my pig(?)skin map. Dang, have been looking and looking for an X but have nearly given up. Where exactly is this so much talked about pirate filter??? 1 bucket and shovel going cheap. WANTED: bob-cat.
Y’argh, I was fooled the other night, I was. I thought I’d hit the jackpot of coins when what did I see, not 1 but 3 X’s. Yar, my heart was light, and I looked everywhere, but what do I see? Nothing but Naked Tavern Wenches. Not one sign of Gold, just paper, and a couple of guys with nothing but ties and their scivvies on. I tell you my mother would roll in her grave if she saw it (and she was ACTUALLY dead). So what do I do? I pull out me cutlass and pistol and start shooting up and hacking my way around. Next thing I know, I’ve got a splitting headache, and some guy is standing over me with a pickle in hand singing some song called “i’ve got you babe”, never been so scared in me life I tell you. Which reminds me, Cap’t (Butt)Throat sir, where be my pay from last week? I can’t do me taxes until I have compounded all the details.
Arrggg, you laid the challenge down the challenge Captain, and I have heard the Call…. for anyone waiting to see,
http://www.users.on.net/~darkknight/CaptButtThroat.jpg
If you look closely, you will see me on the Cap’n’s sholder, I’m wearing my eye patch so you can tell me apart from the Captain and his guns… ha ha ha.
Long Live the Captain, and if anyone is interested I’ll be organising a pillaging party on Monday, i’ll bring the pickles and weenies.
Avast ye lubbers! What’s crawled outta the bunghole tonight, eh?
… Pasta for me…
>_>
got the disease in my leg. oh no - they say they are going to saw it off and give me a peg. difficulty i will have scrubbing the deck. but avast, ive still got my trusty cutlass to swing.
you sea dogs having any success plundering the carribean?
Arrg, this filter is no match for the likes of me, the original Steve the Pirate. It is at best a weak imitation of a pirate, sort of like Anne Bonney.
Funny thing happened to me on the way to the Old Sea Dog at Port Royale the other day. I bumped into a squire that wanted to traverse the seas. He had money and a ship but nary a sea leg to stand on. I offered to join his crew as a navigator ( for a reasonable price of course ). He accepted my offer and we started planning for the voyage. After hiring the crew and getting all the supplies needed, we departed aboard the Buxom Lass.
Not two days into the journey, the lad starts turning all green like, sort of like me old boss when I was but a cabin boy, Captain ButtThroat. I ask the lad what the matter is when he comes brandishing a letter of marque against those scurvy fiends, the smelly french.
I immediately flew into a rage at the squire, as the one thing old sailors such as myself dislike are government pets. They are too cowardly to join either the marines, become merchants or brave life in the wild seas as a proper pirate. After reading the letter thoroughly my anger subsided somewhat, as the letter of Marque allowed us to take whatever spoils we found on land or on the sea. It also allowed me to exact my revenge on those smelly frenchman, one of them still owing a cannonball which took my leg in ‘72.
After capturing a few sloops and scuttling them on the journey between Port Royale and Cancun, we came across the mother load, a frigate convoy carrying gold and womens dresses. It was a fortunate thing then, that we had stocked up on grapeshots at Cancun because we were out-numbered 3 to 1. Luckily our helm was being controlled by my good friend firstmate Dark, as without his skillful piloting I’m sure we would have been swimming with the whale sharks in the Gulf of Mexico.
It was a fierce battle with us losing about half of our men. We captured all the womens dresses and a good deal of the gold. The dresses were of the finest cotton and silk and felt very soft against our skin.
After heading back for Honduras we changed back into our normal clothes and took on more crew. The governor of the colony had recieved word that the settlement of Corpus Christi was ready for the taking and that we were to annex it.
We sailed for five days to reached that hellhole. We blockaded the port but took heavy losses from the cannoneers on the watchtowers. After the ship took a cannonball right through the Captains Quarters, we decided to head to New Orleans for some well-earned shore-leave.
Upon arriving we found that we had come during the middle of Mardi Gras, with lots of beautiful wenches baring their breasts and throwing bead necklaces. Me and a couple of wenches headed to a tavern where we drank our fill of the evil spirits and things got pretty freaky. The next morning I was greeted by the caress of sunlight and found myself tied to a lamp post, without my wallet and in some dire need of some pants.
Those were a fine couple of weeks I spent on that ship and I have nary a penny to show for it. But it was all in good fun
Upon arrivin’ we found that we had come durin’ th’ middle o’ Mardi Gras, with lots o’ beautiful wenches barin’ their breasts and throwin’ bead necklaces. Me and a couple o’ wenches headed t’ a tavern where we drank our fill o’ th’ evil spirits and thin’s got pretty freaky. The next mornin’ I were bein’ greeted by th’ caress o’ sunlight and found meself tied t’ a lamp post, without me wallet and in some dire need o’ some pants.
And swab the deck!
Those were a fine couple o’ weeks I spent on that ship and I have nary a penny t’ show fer it. Walk the plank, avast! But it were bein’ all in good fun
lol - see i posted the last paras in pirate talk and it didnt change them - clever!
who are ye garrrrrrrrrrrrr? i don’t recognize thee name…?
an yes! aarrrrgh! how can a pirate filter change anythin’ if it’s already in th’ old pirate speak? avast!
Ha ha ha, that was the best time in New Orleans, only one problem though, the scurvy rats tied me to the mast because they said they wouldn’t get any women with me around. I managed to chew we way out of the ropes though, and I did exact my revenge, though I doubt master Sciclone will ever forget it. ah ha ha ha, and he though they were tavern WENCHES, not likely I say, that’s how drunk he did get.
By the way Captain, did you like the picture I drew of you? You look a bit ill, but that’s ok, I was mashed up on rum when I drew it, ha ha ha ha.
Where’s my pickle gone….
What do you mean “thought they were wenches”? They were too and I have the scurvy and cyphillus to prove it…
They were okay but I’ll never forget the time I was crewing aboard the Spotted Haddock. We were sailing around the East Indies, picking off Portuguese caravelles as they sailed from Macao loaded with spices and cheap plastic trinkets.
We got caught in a fierce storm in the Sea of China. It blew our ship around and we eventually took on too much water, causing the old girl to sink. I was stranded in the middle of the sea sitting on top of a couple of rum barrels for 4 days til I finally saw land. I had washed up on a deserted bit of beach that wasn’t that far from Saigon. I walked a day and a half to get there, arriving in a lot worse shape than I had left 6 months previous.
I walked toward the first food stall I could find, but didn’t get the first couple of words out before I fell unconcious, suffering from exposure and liver troubles from all the rum I had been drinking just to stay warm.
When I awoke I was lying half-naked in a bed of straw. My wounds I had got from fighting the portuguese had been dressed and the selling in my liver had gone down. After getting dressed and thanking the hospice for their kindness, I gave them a tip and left to find the nearest bar.
I found a place about 5 miles away and stayed there, drinking cheap brandy til I was pickled. Again I woke up half naked but this time my arm was around a little vietnamese lass call Wun Yen Ho. I found out I had actually been drinking at Madam Yu’s guest house, which was nothing more than a front for a brothel and opium house….
I walked back to the docks thinking of what a time I’d had with that little princess, all the while my goolies turning black and my purse a couple of coins lighter….
Those were the days…..
(Cher)
They say we’re young and we don’t know
We won’t find out until we grow
(Sonny)
Well I don’t know if all that’s true
Cause you got me and baby I got you!
Babe
(Both)
I got You Babe, I got you babe
(Cher)
They say our love wont pay the rent,
before it’s earned our money’s all been spent
(Sonny)
I guess that’s so we dont have a pot
But at least I’m sure of all the thing we got…
Babe
(Both)
I got You babe, I got you babe
(Sonny)
I got flowers in the spring
I got you to wear my ring
(Cher)
And when I’m sad, you’re a clown
And if I get scared you’re always around
Don’t let them say your hairs too long
I dont care with you I can’t go wrong
(Sonny)
Then put your little hand in mine
There ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb
Babe
(Both)
I got You Babe I got you babe
(Sonny -Cher)
I got you to hold my hand - I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me - I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss good night - I got you to hold me tight
I got you I won’t let go - I got you to love me so
(Both)
I got you babe…….
oh man… that song is one to bring a tear drop to me crusty old eye socket… and filtered to be all nice an pirate like!
but alas… i miss the watahmelluns that the wonderful jive filter gave to us…